The Smelly Zombie

The Smelly zombie next door needn’t be a bother anymore.

This post is in response to:

Turn to your co-workers, kids, Facebook friends, family — anyone who’s accessible — and ask them to suggest an article, an adjective, and a noun. There’s your post title! Now write.

Source: Mad Libs | The Daily Post

If it’s been months or even years since you’ve been hearing that tapping or banging snarling sound, chances are that smell is a zombie who’s chained up or otherwise trapped in an abandoned house.

For an affordable price, Orkin exterminators will come into the house, approved by the city, drill a hole in its brain, and discreetly remove the cadaver on a stretcher. This will appear like a normal death has occurred to avoid zombie looky loos and camera crews.

The smelly zombie that’s been making the cul-de-sac putrid will be gone. The smell will disappear soon thereafter. As for her/him? Don’t worry, she/he won’t feel a thing: It’s a zombie!

Author: Damien Riley

Damien Riley is a blogger, film reviewer, & podcaster who writes a column at RileyCentral.blog once a week. He has an MA in English from California State University, Fullerton. He married a high-desert princess (now his queen). They have 3 children.