Choosing Boundaries, Changing Backgrounds

I can tell you the coming year will be one in which I focus more on giving to people who receive me.

I’ve set up my CSS stylesheet to change backgrounds readily. That means when I get tired of the way my blog looks, I don’t have to completely adapt to a new set of templates known as a “theme.” I drew a parallel to this tonight in my head as I was doing dishes. I thought about the friend psychology of my life and how people exist in a sort of “background” if you will. I seem to be neglecting great people in favor of people who are negative and don’t share my dreams and vision. In fact, they tear me down. I am the type that tries to please everyone, especially certain people who probably would be happy if I failed at everything I try in life. I’ve chosen to pander to these no more. Like Morissey said in the 80’s:

In my life, why do I give valuable time to people who don’t care if I live or die?

Good question. My blog is cool now because I have about 10 backgrounds I have sized and uploaded and they are always ready to go 24/7. What a powerful metaphor that my life background can change anytime I choose. I can spend time with people who take from who I am and the dream that lives or I can try to please those who will never be pleased. They hang on me like an ugly background I don’t take the time to change.

I’m a big fan of the words of Jesus. He says throughout the Bible that we should serve others before ourselves and thereby put God first. I want to be much more of a giver. I can tell you the coming year will be one in which I focus more on giving to people who receive me.

When it comes to having to choose and sometimes change people backgrounds, we’re all in the same boat. It’s the human condition. Nobody gets out of these choices alive and the results can make a huge difference in this temporal life.

Author: Damien Riley

I'm a blogger, film critic, & podcaster with an MA in English from California State University, Fullerton. I teach public school, 4th grade as my primary occupation. My views on films and life are usually headstrong and often 'left of center' on movies and life, but I have respect for the other side. I married my high-desert princess (now my queen). We have 3 children.

3 thoughts on “Choosing Boundaries, Changing Backgrounds”

  1. Really great post! I’ve been thinking a lot along the same lines lately. Need to free myself from negativity and those who feed off that. Like the metaphor of the “background for life”. Awesome that we can choose to keep things fresh and in the moment rather than stale and familiar.

    1. What an encouraging comment Sarah. Let’s be accountable to move on when people don’t receive our help and positive energy. I think this is a great direction.

  2. Really thought provoking and inspirational post Damien. I’ve long lost what I call “emotional vampires”. Got plenty of legitimate things to worry about ;) Sometimes Ive noticed that changing the background of even little things, like getting a cup of coffee somewhere you never went before, works well, too. Love the analogy!

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