The Psychology of Online Dating

Online dating draws many types. Which type you are can determine whether it works for you.

Many people date online nowadays. I myself once used Yahoo! Personals and met my wife through it. But there are many such as, or any other in the plethora of websites promising love with whipped cream and a cherry on top. I was single for many years, I got married late. My lovely wife and I made our vows in 2002 when she was 25 and I 33.

Then comes marriage?

We got married in Las Vegas at the Chapel of the Bells just across the strip from the Luxor where we had our one night honeymoon. Our relationship started online through Yahoo! Personals but in my late 20’s and early 30’s I tried a few online services and learned the psychology behind many of the people who use them. It’s quite curious.

Some people just want sex, plain and simple.

These are the animal urge types. For any number of reasons, these folks want to “hook up” and not “hang out.” It might be due to anger at a past relationship partner or it might be just satisfying primal urges. These people are no different than the ones who hang out at nightclubs hoping to “score.” The online services are great for these people, especially since they can make the nature of their interest quite clear from the get go … no surprises. It’s people like this that tend to give online dating a bad name for us folks wanting to simply meet a potential spouse. But, as long as they are transparent about their intentions, I can’t complain that these people use the services.

Yet others are looking for a someone to date.

These are the most admirable. They are patient. They make their profile complete. These people want to date and get to know someone before it gets serious. They meet in a public place and discuss things with each other before making the choice to go to a higher level. Often these people end up happily married. I’d see myself when I was on the service as one of these or the next one: marriage-bound.

And finally, some are looking for marriage.

These are the people who for whatever reason have decided they must get married. Often online dating is bad for these people because they are so desperate that people take advantage of them. But I say, if two people who are hungry to be married get together this way and are happy with one another, what bad is there in that?

I’ve been on a few different services through the years and attribute Yahoo! Personals for helping me find my wife.

What image do you have of online dating and have you tried it?

Soap, Gum and Doing What You Love – The Story of Wrigley’s Gum

Keep doing those hobbies, topics, and pet projects that excite you, even if they bring in little or no money. If you’re a writer, write on that stuff you’re most passionate about, despite the popularity “ranking” of the subject matter. Even something as droll as chewing gum has produced rewards in due time.

I read about Wrigley, the famous gum mogul, tonight on a website. He started selling soap as his main source of income, but kept a secret hobby of making it in the chewing gum market began in his basement. He never thought chewing gum would bring in enough money to be a big business, so he poured himself into the soap as his career. After a time however, the soap didn’t sell as he had hoped. Before long, he would be in chewing gum orbit.

To better market the soap as a novelty, the family started adhering a small package of his tasty gum to each soapbox they sold. After a short time people were buying the soap just to get the gum. You know the rest of the story. Spearmint chewing gum and gum in general is synonymous with his name.

I think the energy in our jobs and in our writing, should not always be spent on what we think will sell, but rather on our pet projects we truly feel invigorated about. We may find, as Wrigley did, that other people like them as well and they may even end up paying us money to continue doing them! Thanks for the life lesson Mr. Wrigley and thank you for Wrigleys chewing gum.

Wrigley’s full history


Every time I look at my phone it’s 9:09, or 1:11, etc. The same numbers. My wife says I’m crazy so I’m not telling her anymore >:) The mothership may be sending me messages so if you don’t see me one day, remember this post. 9 is an interesting number. It feels like one short. Nobody can take a girl on a date with 9 bucks but ten makes it sound doable.

The month and year are both 9’s today. That means we are on the verge, the precipice, the balcony of something great. Continue reading “9-9”